Quick Guide On How To Deal With Jewish Parents In Law

Dealing with parents in law is not an easy thing to do, especially in cases wherein either of them shows signs that he or she does not like you. Whether you like it or not, you have no other option left but to make an effort to be nice to them. Otherwise, your marriage may be full of stress, sadness, and anxiety. Keep in mind that your husband has high respect and love for his parents. Once he notices that you do not feel the same way towards her mother and father, there is a high chance or tendency that you will encounter several issues and conflicts in the marital union.

Samantha Rodman, PhD points out that, “There are numerous ways to reframe the situation, to process and grieve for the parent-child relationship that you don’t have, and to move on in more healthy ways.”

 

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In this article, we are going to focus on the different tips and tricks that you have to follow if you want to get along well with your Jewish parents in law. Before anything else, it is vital or crucial for you to understand that just because they do not like you at present does not mean that the situation will never improve. Keep in mind that you have the power to change the course of your relationship with them. You need to be strong enough to make the change and be willing to do whatever it takes to fix your problematic relationship with them:

 

Show Empathy

 

The number one value that you must possess at all times is the ability to be empathetic to those surrounding you, particularly your father in law or mother in law. Put yourself in their shoes whenever you think of what they said or did to you. In so doing, you will start to see clearly why they have acted such towards you. Maybe they are just being protective of their adult child, or perhaps you have done something that caused them to despise you? Have empathy so that you can have a bigger reason to show compassion and understanding to them.

Elliot D. Cohen Ph.D., says that, “Being empathetic to the situations of others can promote trust, leading to open and honest communication, thereby facilitating resolution of interpersonal conflicts and constructive change.”

Never Talk Back

 

Let your parents in law say anything they want. No matter how hurt you are, it is best to keep quiet when they are getting angry or saying negative things towards you. Remember that they are older than you, which is why you must still show them respect despite the current circumstances that you have in your relationship. However, you must not also keep everything within you. Find a way to raise your issues to your parents-in-law but be sure to find the right timing before doing it. Have the ability to be more patient when they are around.

When you are disappointed by your in-laws, try as hard as you can not to escalate the situation,” Barbara Greenberg Ph.D. says.  “Once certain words leave your mouth, you can never re-insert them.”

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Show Your Affection To Your Husband

 

One of the common reasons why an in-law does not like their child’s wife is because of their fear that the latter won’t be able to take good care of their son. They also fear that the time will come wherein their beloved son will be taken away from them because of the marriage. Because of this, you have to show your parents in law how much their son means to you. Show them how much dedicated and committed you are in being in love with your spouse. This tip may not be a guaranteed way to make them like you, but it can be a good start.

 

Take It Slow

 

Make sure that you are absolutely and fully aware of the fact that not everything is going to happen the way you want it to become in just one night. It means that the process of making your in-laws fall in love with you may take more than one year, depending on the current or present circumstances in your relationship. Be patient in understanding the entire process so that your parents in law will not feel that they are being compelled to like you. Seize every opportunity you get to make them smile.

 

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Conclusion

 

Making your mother in law or father in law like you may be complicated in the beginning, but it will be worth it. As already emphasized above, there is a necessity to take it slow. Never rush the process so that you can get a high guarantee that the excellent treatment and improved relationship are genuine or real. Do not be afraid to keep on trying over and over again, until everything is resolved.

 

Things That Matter Most In Life

What’s the most important thing we will ever have? Is it money? Well, it’s better to have it than not, but we know it’s not the essential thing we need in life. So, what about unconditional love? Yes, it is undoubtedly important, and we probably can’t live without it. There’s the love of our friends and family that strengthen and support us no matter what. Is it happiness? Well, no one wants to be unhappy. No individual will trade anything for happiness. Admittedly, we don’t have contentment that’s why most of us don’t entirely feel happy at all. However, we can’t judge every individual’s desires because everybody tends to be different. Lastly, is it our health? Surely our therapist would say that it is because, without overall health, we wouldn’t have the chance to experience a lot of transcending things in the world.  But what is it that matters most in a person’s life?

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The Truth No One Wants To Admit

The most important thing in life is values. Not only can the Jewish community agree to that but a lot of people who understand the importance of having principles in life will surely give an undertaking for it. “Values serve self-expansion and fuller self-actualization,” Frank J. Ninivaggi M.D., F.A.P.A. says. The truth is, most of us appear to disregard it because we somehow believe that ethical values are not that important and useful in a lot of circumstances. But perhaps we are wrong. Values are more vital than love, money, relationships, and even happiness. Above all, values or principles are what all individuals consider more important than emotions or feelings. It could be very hard for a lot of people to believe, but that’s how it is. Perhaps that’s because we live in a time when all of us think that how we feel about something gives more weight than anything else. Unfortunately, it is not.

When it comes to decision-making, all of us use our right of judgment to create one. However, we usually depend on emotional attachment and pursuits most of the time. That’s the reason why there’s a conflicted result between deciding with feelings and sticking to life principles. Let’s try to set an example for this one. Assuming people feel like eating food without control. They know they will end up getting unhealthy along the way. The particular reason that stops them from consuming a lot of food they feel like eating is the value of staying healthy. In other words, there’s this battle between what they feel like doing and the moral value they hold. The different idea becomes even more vital when it comes to how it helps in treating other people.
Matt James Ph.D. points out that, “Values keep us on track. When we’re clear on our values, we’re more likely to act in ways that serve our highest good.”

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Since the world is evolving at an accelerated pace, almost everything that comes out wrong with it is from those individuals who don’t have values or not living on any life principles. Yes, all of us can share the same sentiments, but only a few can stick to what they believe is morally right. “Your values form the foundation of your life. They dictate the choices you make and determine the direction that your life takes,” Jim Taylor Ph.D. wrote. Some individuals murder other people because they feel like they are capable of doing it. They don’t live by the value of preserving human life. There are also those people who would instead steal things from others because they want what others have. They don’t value hard work and perseverance. There are those individuals who choose to have a relationship with someone already married because they happen to fall in love. They don’t realize the value of respecting a family. Honestly, the list is pretty much endless.

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Through our learning and experiences in life, we make choices based on how we see things rightfully. It should have to be that way. We have to understand that the best people we know such as those kindest, nicest, and most honest are the ones who constantly battle with their feelings only to make a better judgment.  Yes, appreciating our feelings is essential. However, we have to be reminded that when someone disagrees with us, it doesn’t mean they are disrespecting our opinions.  A value is something we can consider precious more than anything else in the world because it creates a person. It allows us to become who we want to believe we could become regardless of what we can do and how we choose to do things.

How Judaism Can Help Improve Family Relationships

All around the world, there are at least 14 million Jewish people, and they come from different countries. Judaism, as we know it, is more than just a religion. Jewish people believe that Judaism is a way of life, and every family practices it not only by understanding their beliefs by the book but also by doing good deeds.

Embracing Judaism

In Judaism, religion teaches its believers to live the practices of their church through hand, mind, and heart. Even in family upbringing, Jewish people make it a point to ensure that the Jewish values are instilled at a young age. This way, Jewish parents can ensure that the identity and decision-making of their children align with what they believe in, which is one of the leading reasons why most Jewish families live closely together as well.

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Looking at it in a different angle, religion, in general, helps families build closer bonds and ties together. Through spiritual guidance, parents can teach their children the culture and various house rules. Parents hope their children to maintain these rules even as the children grow older. The role of Judaism is significant in the upbringing of the children. By being consistent in the set of values and principles they live by, families can be made closer and much stronger.

Spirituality Building

Spirituality building is one of the most underrated approaches of parents in family formation. By focusing on and putting one’s faith in the center of a family relationship, children can better practice their beliefs and make sound decisions aligned with their religion.

“Spirituality is linked to many important aspects of human functioning—spiritual people have positive relationships, high self-esteem, are optimistic, and have meaning and purpose in life,” Ryan T. Howell Ph.D. says.

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Another benefit which helps parents improve their parenthood is through the use of spirituality. By acknowledging a higher being in which the family believes in, values formation flourishes. In addition to this, through Judaism, parents can define their biblical derivations and set values and role models for their children to follow. Because of this, children learn how to show reverence and become more obedient to their parents. 

Improving Family Relationships

Three of the central values taught in Judaism are respect, sacrifice, and reverence.

  • Respect

Judaism consistently teaches honoring one’s parents to its followers. With this, children learn to pay respect as a sign of love. Jewish people believe that when one obeys their parents, they will live a longer and more prosperous life. Through basic teachings like honoring parents, children learn about the value of respect, a vital principle which must be continuously nourished even until a child grows up. In doing so, families learn to see each other as equals, and it will foster healthier relationships with each other. “Gaining your children’s respect doesn’t mean that you have to be a harsh, restrictive ogre. You can be loving, fun, and supportive,” Jim Taylor Ph.D. added.

  • Sacrifice

In Judaism, the scriptures teach the children about the different sacrifices and hard work parents put in so that they can provide for their offspring. Unlike other religions, exhibiting the value of sacrifice is very important especially in raising children because, at a young age, it teaches young boys and girls of the worth of different things, which people have to work hard for.

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By teaching the concept of sacrifice, children become more hardworking, and they realize that not all things are free. “Close relationships require sacrifice,” Amie M. Gordon, Ph.D. points out. People acquire their needs and wants after they put in work and effort, and these simple values teach a child about determination. When a child learns about the sacrifices of parents for them to acquire their basic daily needs, they learn to value each blessing more, and they grow up to be more thankful people, especially to the people who help them, even those who are not related to them by blood.

  • Reverence

Through Judaism, parents can foster the love for God in the family, which is a vital spiritual aspect. By instilling the different Jewish teachings, parents can introduce different stories and lessons which develop young children’s understanding and acceptance for their higher being. In the case of Jewish, it is their respect and reverence for God.

For some families, the concept of religion may or may not matter. It depends on the parents’ upbringing and how they wish to raise their children. Regardless, we must respect the different views of parents about religion as a vital point in a person’s childhood.

In deciding on how to bring up children, it is essential to take note of the different pros and cons that may be involved in the process. In the context of Judaism, it can bring a lot of positivity and benefits for a family. By considering to adopt and take in some religious concepts and values from the Judaism religion, there is a more likely chance for families to develop a closer relationship which revolves around God and finds the basis on the same set of culture, values, ethnicity, and lifestyle.

Through the teachings of Judaism, families can be made more faithful with each other through their strong anchor, God.

Many Benefits Of Counseling

Have you considered getting counseling before because of some life events that happened to you? Are there any counseling benefits? What are the benefits of counseling? If you want to know the benefits of counseling, read more.

Have you noticed that many things in your life have become complicated over the past few years? If you answered yes to these inquiries, then it is about time to think about the proper treatment options to combat these problems, such as counseling (or going to therapy) with a professional.

benefits of counseling - Have you noticed that a lot of things in your life have become complicated over the past few years? If you answered yes to these inquiries, then maybe it is about time to think about the proper counseling that you can do to combat these problems such as counseling with a professional.
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Counseling Advantages

Luckily, there are several options available on your part that can help in improving your life. In this article, we will focus on one possible treatment, which is counseling. It may sound awkward at first to seek the guidance and assistance of an expert in dealing with your problems. However, it is about time to let go of the false notion that finding counseling services shows your weak side. Instead, look at it as an act of courage. Here are some:

Identify Issues: Counseling Involves Learning

This is one of the most important advantages.

You cannot keep on running away from your problems and concerns. Unfortunately, there are times when even you cannot pinpoint the significant issues that you have. The advantage is that you can identify these issues with a counselor. Counseling involves learning.

A good counselor can help you with this matter. Through a counseling session, you will begin to understand what makes you feel certain emotions. At the same time, it can enable you to think clearly to determine the issues in your life. In the long run, it can help you deal with problems maturely and smartly.

“Self-acceptance is about already being okay, with no qualifications, period. It’s not thatIt’signore or deny our faults or frailties, just that we view them as irrelevant to our basic acceptability,” Leon F Selt”er Ph.D. explains.

Clear Your Mind 

With counseling, you can clear your mind. When there are many things going on in your life, you may feel overwhelmed to the point that you will no longer know what to do next. At the same time, having too many priorities can also cause stress and anxiety. As you probably know, stress and anxiety are crucial mental health concerns. Personal counseling can help you with these concerns.

 

 

counseling benefits
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The moment you continuously feel stress and anxiety, the more you will have difficulty understanding yourself. To solve this, all you have to do is get in touch with a counselor who can help in clearing your mind. Having a clear and de-cluttered mind can help you think of smarter strategies to take hold of the wheel in your life.

Seek psychological counseling if you are unable to manage your thoughts or find they are interfering with your ability to meet your daily responsibilities or enjoy life,” Patricia Hateneck, Ph.D. advised.

Control

Did you know that one of the several reasons you always feel down and depressed is that you keep thinking that everything is out of your control? The advantage is that you can gain control. As such, it is imperative on your part to turn your life around for the better through counseling. Do not fret because the assistance of an effective counselor can make things happen. All that needs to be done is to find the right professional and start there.

Having a sense of control as to some aspects of your life will make you feel better. As such, you have to find the right professional to keep you on track with all the complicated things going on in your life. You have to take it slow so you will not feel any pressure from the counseling sessions. Enjoy every moment and understand the reality that you cannot see the advantages overnight. There is a necessity to do it regularly. Through counseling, you can achieve this.

Timothy Carey Ph.D. reminds that, “Today, you are the realization of yesterday’s potention you. There has never been, never will be, and never can be any predetermined master plan of what you should become. You are as you should be. You are “right” just the way you are.”

Relief

Counseling can give you a sense of relief since you can have someone to talk to. You can say anything you want to your counselor to unload yourself from the burdens of your thoughts and emotions. Sometimes, all it takes is to discuss your issues and problems with someone so that you can be free from negativity. Counseling can help you open up and express your feelings.

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Types Of Counseling That People Can Avail Of

There are various counseling services that can be of help to people in need of guidance, and they most likely have similar counseling process to implement Some of the most popular counselings are:

Relationhip Counseling

Relationship counseling, otherwise called couples counseling or couples therapy, is a psychotherapy that spotlights on assisting individuals with working on their romantic connections. By working with a specialist, couples can investigate issues in their relationship, work on their comminication, interpersonal skills, further develop connections, and resolve clashes.

Mental Health Counseling

Clinical mental health counseling envelops the services that experts give to clients who seek assistance in managing issues that influence their lives. As indicated by the American Psychological Association (APA), those issues can include individual issues or issues of a social, emotional, conjugal, professional, rehabilitative, instructive or life-stage nature. Other mental health conditions or mental health disorders also falls in this type.

Career Counseling

Otherwise called as career guidance, career counseling is counseling intended to assist with picking, changing, or leaving a career and is accessible at any stage in life. One’s profession is, in many cases, one of the important parts of adulthood, and starting on a new career, whether for the first time, the subsequent time, or any time from there on, can be a stressful event particularly when financial hardships, such as a recession, are a component.

Family Counseling

Family counseling, or family therapy, is a strategy to create and keep up with solid and practical family members connections. The objective is to recognize and resolve issues in the family. These issues could be emotional, mental, or behavioral.

Counting Counseling Benefits

A great counselor could never judge you for your words and actions.

He is a professional mental health expert who has a high level of empathy and communication skills. Having conversations with the counselor can help you process your thoughts and feelings. As a result, your mood will improve, and you can start having a better outlook on life.

 

The Stigma Of Mental Health In The Jewish Community

Nowadays, mental health is no longer considered a taboo topic in many parts of the world. Because of modern science, some people slowly learned how to accept the truth behind mental health, and many are educating others on why we should talk about it. However, not everyone is receptive to this shift.

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The Hexagram, Star Of David, Magen David, Or Star Of Creation

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Symbols are very significant as they are used to express specific ideas, structures, and characteristic of a particular culture. The meaning of a symbol differs depending on the cultural background. Different religions use different symbols, but there is one symbol that is very common to many religions, the Star of David (for the Jewish) which to other beliefs is known as the Star of Creation (Christianity).

Meaning of the Jewish Star of David Continue reading “The Hexagram, Star Of David, Magen David, Or Star Of Creation”

Judaism: The Thirteen Principles Of Faith

Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon (Maimonides) also known as “The Rambam,” a Jewish scholar, decoded the 613 commandments or the “Taryag mitzvot” into 13 fundamental principles of Judaism faith. The Thirteen Principles of Faith or the “Shloshah Asar Ikkarim” is the summary of the 613 commandments filtered to understand the core meaning of them all.

It is a Jewish custom to recite these principles of faith every day after their morning prayer or what they call “Shacharit.” The 13 principles of faith are recited every day so that the Jews will never forget them. This way, they can always observe their faith and help them be grounded in their message.

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1. Faith that God alone is the creator.

Maimonides stated that “There is a Being, perfect in every possible way, who is the ultimate cause of all existence. All existence depends on God and is derived from God.”

2. Faith that God is unique and one.

Maimonides stated that “If one even allows himself to think that there is another deity other than God, then he violates the commandment, ‘You shall have no other gods before me.’”

3. Faith that God is incorporeal and incomparable.

Maimonides explained that God has no physical body and cannot be compared to any other creations.

4. Faith that God is first and last.

Maimonides explains that God is eternal and boundless. Nothing else that was created comes equally to His eternal unity.

5. Faith that we should pray to God alone.

Maimonides believed that we should pray to God alone. Jewish faith doesn’t believe in mediators such as priests, saints, prophets or angels. God should be the only one we praise and treat as such.

6. Faith that the words of the prophets are true.

The faith of Judaism is rooted in the words of the Hebrew prophets, and they have complete faith that their words are the truth and should be preserved.

7. Faith that Moses is the chief prophet.

The Jewish faith believes that Moses is the “father of all prophets.” He, among anyone else, was the closest to ever communicate with God. Other prophets needed an intermediary but Moses did not. It is indicated in the Torah that God said, “Mouth to mouth, I will speak to him.”

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8. Faith in the divinity of the Torah.

The Jewish faith believes that the Torah is the same Torah that was given to Moses in Mount Sinai and that it has been preserved and passed down to guide us and the future generations to come.

9. Faith that the Torah cannot be changed.

The Torah cannot be changed in any way. No words shall be added or changed as it is obsolete.

10. Faith that God knows all things.

The Jewish faith believes that God is all-knowing. He sees and hears all, even our thoughts.

11. Faith that God will reward the righteous and punish the trespassers.

The Jewish faith believes that God will reward those who follow his commandment and punish those who defy Him.

12. Faith that the Messiah will come.

The Jewish faith believes that the “Maschiach” or the Messiah will come and bring Israel to greatness once more.

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13. Faith in the resurrection of the dead.

Lastly, Maimonides explains that the Jewish faith believes the dead will rise again when God wills.

Maimonides believed in the Taryag mitzvoth of Torah, and he made the fundamental principles it is based upon. These principles are sacred. They are observed up to this very day and will be up until the end of time as it was stated.

Judaism: Not Just A Race Nor A Religion

 

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Judaism is a religious belief or faith that originated from the early people of Israel some four thousand years ago. The foundation of their religion is based on the covenant God made with Abraham and his people. God said they are “the chosen people” and that they would inherit a holy land.

The Jews or the people observing Judaism refer to the bible as Tanakh, and their belief and faith are built upon the religious, philosophical and ethical laws stated in the Torah also known as the first five books in the Hebrew Bible.

Judaism as a race

Jews share the same land which is Israel, a universal religion which is Judaism, and shared beliefs and traditions rooted from the time of Abraham.

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